


Why Would You Think That?

by AHS



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Drabble, Justin pov, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-04
Updated: 2010-06-04
Packaged: 2017-10-12 22:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHS/pseuds/AHS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Most of all, for thinking that I would leave you! Why would you think that?… If I'd wanted to leave you, I've had better reasons. Plenty of them."</p><p>Justin realizes the flaw in his righteous argument, lol.  400 words, Justin pov, S4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Would You Think That?

**Author's Note:**

> Tense is meant to jump from past to present 'cause it takes place in the moment after the credits roll. (So, the very beginning is what's just happened, and then it's happening... Eh, I know what I mean.)
> 
> Prompt: 

 

I heard it almost as soon as I said it.

Not quite. When I was yelling at him I was too busy yelling. I was angry, justifiably so. I meant every nasty name I called him, everything I said. Mostly I was praying it would work, fighting stubbornness with even greater stubbornness, because I didn't know what my next tactic was going to be otherwise.

When he stayed silent and started to move towards the bedroom, I had one moment of jumping up and down in my head in triumph and relief. Followed quickly by a moment of wanting to cry from watching him move so slowly, hearing his breath hitch from the effort, thinking of him in pain. I took a couple extra seconds gathering the bowl to give him time, so I wouldn't be walking on top of him… and my own words finally hit me.

Why, _oh why_ , would Brian think you would leave him? Because you did, genius.

Fuck. I know he had an answer for that question on his tongue when I asked it, which he probably would have spat out at me if he'd had the energy.

Yeah, maybe you had reasons, definitely better ones than cancer. But you still left. Cheated and left. Lied, cheated, and left. For months.

I almost want to acknowledge the stupidity of my statement but I am still a little smarter than that. That would be the worst thing I could do. I said it because I honest to God _forgot_. It slipped my mind, the whole Ethan thing. In my singular focus of loving Brian, I let myself forget having left him.

It's just… so different now. We're stronger. He has to know that, right?

He gives me a look that says this truce is off the second I try to feed him, so I hand him the spoon and pretend not to notice that he's shaky. But I don't look away. His eyes change slowly, soften, and… yeah, he knows. He knows, and to Brian, this is a terrifying comfort.

And he knows I forgot that guy that wasn't him. Shut out of my mind the time we weren't together. Despite the idiocy of my indignation, I think it was the best thing I could have given him. Maybe it's about as effective as chicken soup in curing fucking cancer, but I figure… it can't hurt.


End file.
